Friday, March 31, 2006

Report on the Cat

6:43 Cat is chased up tree. Settles at an estimated height of 60 feet.

6:50 Dog barks madly.

6:51 Dog is sent inside.

6:52 and continuing. meow meow meow meow meow

7:03 Twilight descends.

7:15 Communication with a Fire Department spokesman reveals that Departmental Policy does not initiate cat rescue till animal has been in the tree 24 hours.

7:22 begin calling friends for reassurance.

8:00 Darkness is complete. Fortunately, really stupid cat is white and can still be spotted by eagle-eyed writer of historical fiction in the subdued glow of distant streetlights.

8:03 and continuing. meow meow meow meow meow

8:10 Having canvassed cat-owning friends, open can of tuna fish and leaves it at bottom of tree.

8:30 Cajoling continues. meow meow meow meow meow from cat.

8:42 Momentary silence. Sound of claws on bark. Cat descends to next lower branch. Now at 50 feet, give or take.

9:05 still on the phone, standing at the base of the tree. Cat is still a looong way up.

9:30 Take bath.

9:38 return to vigil.

10:15 Cat descends to 25 feet and crouches on branch, trying to decide whether to jump for it.

10:18 Cat walks length of branch and back again, still thinking of suicide jump. attempt to reason with cat.

10:25 meow meow meow meow meow

11:40 meow meow meow meow meow

12:40 meow meow meow meow meow

1:10 Historical Romance Writer stands under the tree, speaking kindly but firmly to cat. Cat stalks back and forth on branch. Considers jumping. Cat, after several false starts, finally figures out how to get her tail pointed to the ground, grips tree.

1:13 Silence. Bark scraping. Cat descends, frantically clutching tree, praying little cat prayers.

1:14 Cat achieves soft landing. Tries to bolt for the hills.

1:15 Cat is firmly returned to kitchen meow meow meow meow and given cat food. Historical Romance Writer goes to bed.


  1. Anonymous7:52 PM

    Dear Jo,

    After adventures with Casey and Max today, reading this made me feel better. *s*

    There is a west window in my bedroom, a wall and another window, going from right to left. When Casey sees a cat in the west window, his head swivels east, to the left. The cat comes into view and passes by on the fence. Casey leaps off the bed, flies importantly down the hall to the next room and another window. He meows, apparently reporting in Catatonian language, "I've got him in my sights, Mom." The cat heads further east. Casey shoots back to the hall to the next window to the right of the fireplace. And when the trespassing puss passes, he goes to the window to the left of the fireplace. Since there is no window in the living room, he goes to the breakfast nook window, keeping up a running commentary so I know that he is risking life and limb by shadowing the trespasser thusly.

    But Max, poor, sweet dim-bulb Max. He sees Casey on the same fence, walking from west to east. When Casey heads to the left on the outside fence, Max's head swivels-- to the right. He misses Casey passing the east window. Then he meows, in stunned disappointment.

    Max must be the spiritual father of your kitten. He is a nice cat. But dumb. Casey, on the other hand, is smarter than any three of Max nailed together.


  2. Hi Lauri -

    Casey and Max sound delightful.

    The dog is smart. She's collie/malamute mix and always, always thinking.

    Every time you give her a command you see her mulling it over ... 'Do I reallly want to do that?'

    The cat, OTOH, is the Valley Girl of catdom.


  3. Dear Jo,

    Reading your two cat stories have really brightened my day (although I feel for you in having to deal with said incidents in the first place). I've needed a good laugh and this has provided!

    Keep on keeping on! I'm rooting for you.


  4. Thank you for tweeting me this post, Jo. The status of my cat-in-the-tree story is basically this: He has already been in the tree 24 hours. I've called the County Sheriff (and others) as well as managed to get ahold of Animal Control. The Animal Control guy says he is 6 feet and his catch pole is 4 feet, leaving him 20 short of the required distance.

    I'm out in the country and the tree is all way on the far side of the property, across the creek and over on a neighbor's property. There are no lights, the cat is blue-gray with russet chest (the EXACT same color as tree branch shadows and the actual branch). Plus it's raining, so no moon.

    I'm afraid if I leave food out various wild critters would eat it instead of the cat (skunks, racoons, coyotes, possibly badger or bobcat.)

    So, long story short, he's spending another night in the tree and come daylight various folks and experts will reconvene to discuss matters and actions to take. I can put out food tomorrow morning though.

    I'm sure he'll come down, as people have kindly pointed out that you never find dead cats in trees. (I replied, sure, because eventually the bones fall out of the tree.) And cats have been known to take 2-3 days to decide it's time to stop having fun and come down. Sigh.

    My parents were quick to remind me of the story about the chihuahua who got carried off by an owl. There are lots of owls here and my cat is small.

    Hopefully, tomorrow he will come down as your cat did.