Put in three hours this morning, hoeing and weeding at this first rough draft of Chapter Eight ... One or two tiny awkward spots remain ... but it works, overall.
It only took some ten or three dozen tweaks.
The difference ... pre-tweak and post-tweak ... is small but significant. Tiny but vital. Difference between Igor's collection of parts and Frankenstein's monster staggering about, if you will.
There's a sheen and poetry to it now that was lacking before. Now it sounds 'right'. I have to learn to recognize this line
The structure has always been sound, now that I study it more. Sebastian's internal transformation provides the underlying action. It carries the scene.
To make his transformation power the scene, I just have to drag the reader deep into his head ... deep enough to taste the breakfast crumbs between his teeth and feel his heartbeat. Then his emotions push the scene.
I may eventually slip back and insert 300 words or so ... building Sebastian's thoughts and feelings. But that's reinforcing what I have in place. I'll let my subconscious generate them while I sleep. Just a paragraph or two.
Always hard for me to write from the male POV.
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